


Childcare at it's Best

by Aristocat



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Explicit Language, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Multiple Voices, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Male Character, Reader Is Not Frisk, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-28 23:18:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6349720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aristocat/pseuds/Aristocat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm terrible with summaries. Screw summaries. </p><p>Reader is Male.<br/>----------------------------------------</p><p>(M/n) is your average crack dealer.</p><p>You know, the one you find in the back ally of your private school? Yeah, that one.<br/>Although he's sometimes full of shit, he's a good person at heart- if he even has one that is.<br/>Now let's find out what happens when he's accidentally set up with the narcs and somehow ended up taking care of a mysterious child. </p><p>Spoilers: They fall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't able to add the necessary tags like: "Reader is male" or something like that. But meh, I don't know what to do with tags.  
> I attempted to make the fic more for the reader to be gender-neutral but it turns out I sucked at such attempts.
> 
> So this is my first fic tbh so feed backs are always welcome. :)

Siren blazed from the distance annoyingly loud around the radius. They were searching for (m/n) who was running like hell into the forest of a mountain. 

It was all Wade's fault this time. He knew that (m/n) would never pass up for this deal with 10k in line, and (m/n) should have known better. Wade was his only friend, as good as a drug dealing BDSM creep could get to be honest. But he provided the conversing skill that (m/n) lacked of from his anti-social dump of a lifestyle while (m/n) had the athletics to deliver. But it seems that Wade accidentally set him up with the narcs this time- which brings us back to where (m/n) is getting chased by the po-po. 

"Wade you motherfucker!"  
(m/n) was never this close to getting cornered by the cops before, and this chase was leading him deeper into the creepy-ass mountain where some kids went missing for the past century. 

He hadn't bothered to recall the name through the cat and mouse chase frenzy. Not a lot of things scared him. Hell, he even offered painting Wade with a bucket of lamb blood just to gain a favour from him. Still, the mountain seemed to give him a certain sense of dread.

The sounds of the siren and dog’s barking were fading as (m/n) reached the mid-highest point of the mountain. For some reason, it seemed that the police had their limits to the area. (m/n) sighed in relief- which in his term was nearly avoiding asphyxiation from all the workout of escaping the cops. 

Then he began to analyze his newfound problem.

He was lost in the mountains. All he had was a package of methamphetamine and his phone which he found to be long dead from the lack of batteries. As far as he knew, he didn't know basic survival tactics of being lost in a mountain where creepy shit happens. 

He cursed to himself. 

"Like I can survive in isolation with drugs. Good God, you fucked up bad again."  
{Like, don't we always?} the voice interrupted.  
"You shut up!"

The entire scenario made (me) recollect his life... or the lack of it.  
(m/n) woke up the other day in an alleyway next to broken shards of beer bottles and an excruciating pain on the back of his head. He found his wallet to be empty of cash and cards except for his identification. 

Turned out the guy he was dealing with was some dickhead who thought he could get away stealing the ‘totally-authorized’ drugs along with the messenger's money. Not like it happened rarely, but it still pissed (m/n) off that he had to be the one suffering. So that day ended with Wade offering him couple shot of tequila as (m/n) crawled up into a ball and turn into a drunk sobbing mess.

Where were we? Oh yeah, the mountain. 

The area he was in was creeping him out, there were those soft rustlings that made him flinch every time he heard it, it was as if the ones who were hiding were trying not to get caught. (M/n) figured that if it were the cops, they'd just come right up to him and cuff him. So the police were off the list.

(M/n) sat on a conveniently large rock and began peeling the tight wrappings off the drugs he'd been gripping the entire time during his chase. 

{'Lets look at this positively (m/n). Maybe drugs are the answer to save yourself from getting mauled by... what is it- a bear?'} 

'Do bears crack? Do they even know what crack is?'

{Of course not you idiot! But the communist ones might. You never know about those soviets.|

'Great! More shit to ask google.'

Yeah, he knew the regulations of disrupting a client's drug (blah blah, you’ll get your fingers chopped off blah) but at the moment he really couldn't care less about some stupid rules made by some stupid criminal when he was going to get mauled by some angry and possibly communist bear that wants his crack. He studied the fresh batch of methamphetamine and concluded that it had shit value to him presently in a forest of Mount... Ebby? Eddy? He couldn't recall. It was one of those names he hears off TV and vaguely remembers later on. 

(M/n) lept off his seat.

"Whatever you are, you're totally free to use these nice fresh batch of Meth! I can guarantee you that these won't affect your health as much- well, that's a stupid lie, but they're totally dope!"

He said it out like those fake salesperson hype. He even gave his best teeth revealing smile which during the process sort of made him want to puke a little.

{That was disgusting.}

'Shut up.'

He figured he may as well welcome the source of his fear in open arms. If he was going to get mauled to death anyways he may as well do it happily knowing that his friend was going to enjoy themselves eating the shit out of him.

"...hello?"

To (M/n)'s surprise, and a little heart attack warning, he was met with a voice of a child's instead of the expected roar of an animal. They sounded innocent and almost scared.

(M/n)'s expression softened.

"Hi, Are you lost?" he asked towards the shadow, hoping to the merciful Lord that they're not some kind of creepy paranormal ghost child.

You think you heard a small yes. 

"Don't worry, I may look suspicious but I don't hurt people." 

'Not children anyways.'  
{But maybe ghost children?}  
'How do you attack ghosts? That doesn't make any sense.' 

The kid must have felt only a little relieved because he stepped out of the shadows and faced (m/n); but with a certain distance.

{Aww~ Aren't they cute!?}

They were cute, as cute as a kid you find in the middle of a mountain all alone can get. 

(M/n) wondered why the kid still seemed to be aware of him (along with the thoughts of why the hell a seven year old fetus was even present in this creepy place) but then he realized he just made a speech about offering him drugs beforehand. In the middle of a dark forest. Where he's the obvious shady one. Fuck. 

Realizing how suspicious he must have looked, he hurriedly threw the meth package far away somewhere (cringing a little because those were actually worth a couple hundred in cash) on to the forest ground and looked back at the kid with an unsure smile. 

"Umm... that was just a prop, it's not real drugs. I mean, what kind of crazy person brings illegal drugs into a governmental park property? Ha ha...!"

{If you mean a schizophrenic one, then that would be you.}

'Oi, be a little more helpful for my self-esteem.'

{You mean the lack of it?}

The kid still seemed doubtful about the situation and gave him a questioning look. Damn, tricking kids were hard. 

(M/n) sighed in defeat. 

It was better for the kid to stay away from him anyway.

"Fine, I'm a runaway because I have problems. Now I'm getting chased by the police so you should probably go to them. They're nice people so they'll help you find your way back home." 

(M/n) expected the kid to run off then. Truth be told, that's what (m/n) would have done too if he was the kid. But to his surprise, the child shyly walked towards him and held his hand. (M/n) flinched, since he was not used to physical contact for a while and something about the child made (M/n) feel vulnerable. 

'Ew, that made me sound like a pedo.'

"It's okay. I ran from home too, and you look like you need some company so I'll stay with you." 

(M/n) looks at the child in wonder. 

{Well that escalated quickly.} the voice in his head says. It also answered (M/n)'s question to why a child was in this mountain in the first place. 

A runaway huh? Yeah, (M/n) remembered his times of doing the same. One of the best decision of his life.

However, (M/n) was going to reject the offer. His own existence is considered dangerous to society. And the kid's family, probably caring people, must be worried sick. 

However, the look in the kid's eyes told him he was determined to stay with (M/n).

(M/n) pondered for a while and figured that he should stay with the child for a while until they find their way out of the forest. (M/n) was an asshole in particular but he wasn't against children so he thought he may as well act like a nice adult and perform a service. Hey, maybe it's a small step to not feel like trash. 

"Okay then, you can keep me company."

The kid brightened. 

"...But only until we get ourselves out of here. You have a family to get back to and they must be worried sick."

The kid looked dejected. 

(M/n) asked hesitantly.  
"You do have a place to go back to, right?"

The child looked uncomfortably depressed at this point.

'Oh, that's awkward.'  
{That's why we don't go near children.}  
'Yeah, I figured.'  
{It'll be worse if they start crying.}

"It's fine, you don't have to tell me about it. We'll figure things out when we get out okay?" 

He hurriedly added, unwanting the possible outcome of not knowing what to do with a sobbing child. It was the kid's business after all, and (M/n) was still considered a stranger. A helpful one, but still a crazy drug dealer. 

The child nodded their head, clutching his hands a little tighter. That kind of gave (M/n) the feels.

(M/n) felt the child pull at his hand- a signal for them to move. but they stopped when they noticed that (M/n) stood firm in his ground with an eyebrow raised at them. 

"Now that I think about it we haven't even introduced ourselves. And kid, do you always trust suspicious looking strangers carrying around illegal items or am I just special?"

The child gave him a mischievous grin.

"I'm Frisk, and I don't follow strangers except for the ones I like." 

That took (M/n) a back. 

'Is this kid flirting with me?!'  
{Hey! I like them already!}

A light tint of pink dusted over (M/n)'s cheeks when he realized how cute that was.  
Hell, he might as well play along.

"My name's (M/n) and I don't mind guiding a cute patreon to safety." he said as he gave a smile and a wink.

{Good, you made the scene look less pedo>}it sneered.  
'Shut the fuck up I'm trying.' 

Frisk giggled and skipped along the unridden forest path. 

"Then let's go already, the day's getting darker!"

He noticed they were right. The sun was going down in a flash and the moon was beginning to glow more apparent. This was trouble, (M/n) didn't want to spend the entire night wandering in the dark with no lightsource in an area known for missing children while he had to take care of one. At that point he figured the best way to get out of the area was to descend the mountain.

"Alright, but no running!"

The warning never reached Frisk as they disappeared ahead. You called out their name expecting a casual reply. Instead, you heard a loud thud and a groan.

(M/n) freaked the fuck out.

"Frisk! Are you okay?!" 

'Shit! Did I just fail as a guardian in less than an hour?!'  
{Another reason why we stay away from children}

There was a muffled answer.

"It's okay, I just tripped!"

He sighed in relief.

"Don't run off by yourself, you're gonna get hurt again!"  
(M/n) exclaimed. He caught up to Frisk and held their small hand.

Man, being a responsible adult was quite stressful- but (M/n) actually liked the new experience. 

'Huh, maybe I should go ahead with this kind of career.' he thinks.  
'Just finding random lost children in the middle of the forest and acting as a guardian angel?'

{Hah! More like trash. Guardian trash. Hmm... how much would we get paid for that?'}

The conversation in his mind continued as Frisk and (M/n) travelled hand-in-hand together along the unpaved forest route of Mount Ebott.


	2. Flowey the Flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet a talking flower. And (m/n) thinks he's delusional.

Now who said getting out of a mountain was easy? Protien bar munching bullshiters that’s who.

Huh, It seemed to (m/n) that getting into the mountain was easy enough with some dogs barking at your heels. If he thought of nothing wrong of the mountain previously, he did now. It felt like the place was plotted with twist and turns, leading them to another unrecognizable route.  
(M/n) was starting to get way too tired for this shit. Frisk looked dead tired, and they were both thirsty. If only (M/n) purchased that bottle of mountain dew from the convenience store a couple hours previously… {No, there’s no time for regrets. Keep walking (M/n).}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
All he wanted was water. Going down the wooden steps of the staircase in the middle of the night made the small squeaks of the stairwell seem a hundred times louder. He was careful, not wanting his family to wake up. It seemed to happen a lot more these days; waking up with pajama soaked with sweat, insomnia taking place. He definitely had to quit hanging out with Wade. It was difficult enough to hide it from his parents but with these negative side effects he was digging an early grave. So he opened the medicine cabinet and popped a bottle for aspirin. Then he carefully held the glass to the tap and half filled it with water. 

Damn, rusty taps were loud as fuck.

He heard the footsteps of somebody creaking the floorboard below- (M/n) figured it was his father since his father was a way-too inconveniently light sleeper. Unwanting to create a lame excuse, (m/n) took his cup of water and fast walked back into his room. He swallowed the aspirin along with water and settled down into his blankets, getting cosy and warm. Then he remembered something. 

His parents are away on a trip.  
(M/n) is suppose to be home alone. 

‘No way…’  
A chill ran down his spine.

At the same moment, the creaking footsteps became louder. The teen’s heartbeat thudded hard against his chest, hoping to the merciful Lord above that whoever was out there is unaware of his existence.

`Maybe they just came in early. Yeah, they're obviously home early.` he gave a silent nervous laughter.

{You're extremely delusional you know that?}

‘shh…’

______________

When he opened his eyes, all he saw was yellow. It wasn't those piss colored disgusting yellow which would remind him of his un aesthetic dump, but more like a childish shade which reminded him of his childhood bedroom.

{Ugh, that’s disgusting. Stop thinking about it.}

(M/n) soon realized he was actually face planted into a bunch of yellow flowers. Not that he minded or anything- he woke up to weirder things before and these flowers felt heavenly.

‘hmm… so soft…’

He felt a soft nudge at his side.

(M/n) groaned in protest but the nudge pressed stronger into his guts. 

He sat up groggy and comfortable- he slept better than ever.

“Ow Kid, that hurts.”

So what the hell happened?

Frisk seemingly knowing what (M/n) was thinking responded by pointing his finger up. (M/n) looked up at saw a large crater on the ceiling of… wherever he was.

“Holy hell- Did we fall?!” 

Frisk nodded yes.

“Oh God… How?”

“We tripped.”  
Frisk spoke so casually, it sincerely worried (m/n). 

(m/n) was filled with awe as he surveyed the place. There were pearl white pillars strung with vines which must have inhabited the place for at least couple centuries. Common yellow flowers of the name he couldn’t remember bloomed on the spot where they fell, seemingly because the crater was the only light source for the area- which seemed to have miraculously cushioned their fall. 

It may have been strange considering the scenario but he thought it was beautiful. (M/n) realised he hadn’t seen anything so refreshing since a timeline when he was content with his life.

Despite it’s beauty, (M/n) felt the weight of responsibility multiplying- getting heavy and dreadful.

{It's kind of sad really, you couldn't handle one day of babysitting.}

‘H-hey! At least none of us is dead, right?’

The voice continued hitting the spot.  
{No, not yet anyway. What’s next? Ooh, let me guess; You gonna lose the kid?}

This time he didn't argue back and (m/n) was filled with dejection. 

_________(Frisk)____________

(Mn) looks sad about something. So it's your job to turn that frown upside down! 

You tugged at his sleeve and gave him a patient smile. 

“H-huh? Oh. Right, yeah. Let's um. .. get outta here.” he stuttered awkwardly, still unnerved by the series of obvious guilt and torment.

Something about (m/n) made you very happy. In fact, his existence just made everything about this so much better! 

Now you don’t have to be alone this time.  
You brought him into this. =)

‘But he not suppose to happen. There must be something wrong with this reset.’

Or maybe something is incredibly right with this reset. In fact, I like him. Let’s keep him here.

‘...’

Oh, now you’re going silent protagonist? Ah well, I’ll continue being the narrative consciousness then.

 

-You’re quite boring to talk to be honest.-  
Said the voice in your head. :)

____________________________

First step of getting out of the ruins was actually leaving the space. (M/n) hadn’t noticed earlier but there had been an entrance leading deeper into the area. He felt somewhat unsure of all this but his gamer instinct told him to progress. Besides, Frisk seemed awfully used to this place already; as if he knew his way around. 

In fact, they seemed so used to this place that (M/n) was the only one who jumped when he saw the flower talking. 

“Howdy! I’m Flowey. Flowey the Flower!” the yellow flower grinned at them and (M/n) almost had cardiac failure. 

{THE FUCKING FLOWER JUST GRINNED.}

‘WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.’

Frisk remained neutral.

“Hmm… You guys don’t talk much do ya? Well golly! One of you must be so confused! Someone ought to teach you the ways around the Undergrounds!” The flower winked at them.

{BRUH. Did the Flower just wink?}

‘How is this even possible?!?!’

{I think you’re delusional again.}

‘But I think Frisk sees this too.’

In response, Frisk stepped up in front of (m/n) separating him from the flower. (M/n) was about to pull him back to safety but something inside Frisk seemed to shift in place; a glowing red ball the size of a fist. It took a moment for (m/n) to figure out what it was.

“You see that? That’s their SOUL. The very cumulation of their being.”

(M/n) had witnessed strange things before. Hell, he used to go to college and his roommate is into gore porn. {Urgh, I just remembered something revolting.} However, instead of being somewhat disturbed by the fact something incorporeal just turned corporeal in front of his eyes, (M/n) felt like he was familiar with this process

{I don't remember seeing any of this. You think we going crazy?}

‘Uh… we are already medically insane. I don’t goddamn know what I’m feeling, I’m astonished as fuck and I definitely need ibuprofen and a 42 when we get back.’

The flower continued by revealing series of white, bullet-sized pellets.

This drew (M/n)’s attentions.

“Now you see these? These are ‘friendliness pellets’. We share these to gain LV.”

(m/n) tilted his head, even more confused and overwhelmed than ever.

“I know what you’re thinking. What’s LV? Why, LOVE of course!”

The pellets drew closer.  
“Now gather as many as you can!” Flowey winked again.

Now if there was anything (M/n) learnt from the ‘undergrounds’ above, it was to NEVER EVER trust strangers. And something was obviously fishy about this yellow abomination. Hell, this flower made (m/n) a second fold uncomfortable than the ‘innocent’ sun from the teletubbies. Childhood nightmares indeed.

Besides. Love is pretty gross. Wouldn't wanna give any of those for a while.

Flowey’s friendliness pellets released into the air around them. (M/n) held Frisk (who’d been eerily silent to this point) princess style and easily side stepped away, successfully avoiding all the yucky love pellets or whatever they were. The Frisk’s bright red glow disappeared somewhere, hopefully back where it belongs.

Flowey’s expression changed. (And once again (M/n) attempted to discover the biology behind that) But only for a moment because it resumed it's creepy-ass smile. 

“What are you doing?” it asked.  
“Catch. The. Bullets-” 

(M/n) raised an eyebrow.

“...Friendliness Pellets.”

(M/n) felt Frisk tugging at his hoodie, pointing at the re-appearing white pellets.

They were once again released into the air and (M/n) decided to dodge them all once again. However, Flowey sent another wave without warning and one of the pellet ended up skimming his left arm. Turns out they weren’t ‘friendly’ after all because (M/n) found the shoulder part of his hoodie soaked dark scarlet. 

{Aw, gosh diddly darn! And we just got it in Vans!} 

“I frickin’ CALLED it.” 

A sinister laugh filled the air.

“You FOOL!” Flowey’s expression altered into something ghoulish. A chill ran down (M/n)’s spine and Frisk clenched his eyes shut, whispering about... somebody to hurry up?

“In this world, it’s KILL or be KILLED. And you were doing so well avoiding them too.”  
Cue another sinister laugh.

In dreadful silence, clusters of congregated pellets surrounded the two of them in a tight circle. (M/n) recalled series of swear words in his mind and the voice was making incomprehensible sentences. It gave (M/n) a serious headache, and he was once again filled with regret. Regret that he couldn’t make better decisions, regret he didn’t send Frisk to the cops, and regret not cutting up the goddamn flower to pieces as soon as it smiled it’s creepy-ass grin.

“Frisk, stay close to me.” (M/n) whispered to them and huddled them closely to his chest, using himself as their body shield.  
If he were to die, then at least let him protect someone.

{You’re goddamn insane.}

The bullets approached them painfully slow. And to be honest, (M/n) was pretty pissed off by all this. 

‘Seriously though. If this was some kind of RPG, wouldn’t someone come by and rescue us or something?’

{I know right? Preferably an NPC with a nice set of boobs if you know what I mean.}

‘Like, Y*kiko @magi?’

{Nah, I meant more like N@oto Shirog@ne.}

‘Ohh…I see, you’re more into those girls.’

‘....Dude, when are we gonna die anyway?’

Slightly opening his eyes just to see what’s taking Flowey the Fucking Murderer so long, he found them set onto a large figure of a woman. She looked at... something a bit charred; with disappointment. (M/n) just gasped when he saw what the charred thing was. Flowey was just burning there. Probably in agony until it immobilized itself into the earth and disappeared. 

Overly distracted by attempting to comprehend what- in- the- hell just happened, he barely felt something trying to squirm their way out of (M/n) grasp. When he did, he realized he’s been clutching Frisk like a teddy bear the entire time. 

{Poor kid, they were probably suffocated}

“Oh shoot, sorry.” (M/n) released Frisk and they jumped onto the ground letting out a little huff.

“What a terrible creature, torturing such innocent youths.” a soft, melodic voice spoke.

Their focus went to the new character in appearance. 

“Ah, do not be afraid children. I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I pass by this area every day to see if anyone has fallen.”


	3. Nappy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frisk is starting to creep (M/n) off. Which is ironic really.

“Hey Tori, can I call you Tori? I really like the name.”

Toriel, whom (M/n) had met just less than 20 minutes ago turned her head looked at him in surprise, then kindly smiled.

“As you wish my child.” 

If it had been any other people they would have shot him an irritable glance. Seeing someone who did otherwise made (M/n) all fluttery inside.

(M/n) silently cheered. It was quite nice to be social in a while. Despite him being a shady dealer with a creepy kid and their interactions with a goat mom-ster.

The kid following him while clutching his arm like a cuter version of a gremlin did not count- since he met them less than 24 hours ago and they had been giving (M/n) the creeps ever since they stumbled into the ruins. Besides, what is the kid’s gender anyway? (m/n) decided not to ask because he respects androgyny. Or realistically he didn’t give a fuck and likely forgot to mention it. 

Either way, he felt infatuated with Toriel. Although the voice in his mind kept calling him a filthy furry.

The only part making him feel duper uneasy was the way how Tori kept calling him her child.

‘I don’t look too young do I?’

{You’re barely growing leg hair, you don’t deserve to say that.}

‘Valid point there. Freakin’ douchebag.’

\-----  
Tori had left them in a sudden saying she had business to attend, which seemed all too sudden to (M/n) but he knew how to read people. And Tori isn't a person with bad intents. And so she left, leaving (M/n) and Frisk with the rest of the ruins to explore.

They’d just been introduced by multiple frogs, a depressing moth, some strangely sentient rocks and puzzles. 

Too many puzzles. In fact, a certain leaf puzzle made him fall into a large pit more times than (M/n) could remember that the Puzzle itself seemed to have spared him. Solidifying the grounds by some magical mean. 

“Thank you Puzzle.” (M/n) silently whispered.

The leaves rustled in response- which would have sounded damn well poetic if only (M/n) didn’t realize that there was no wind to rustle them. 

But this place was full of surprises wasn’t it? (M/n) decided he definitely need anxiety pills afterwards. 

During all that, Frisk had been way ahead of him. Skipping through, deactivating puzzles as if they’d memorized the place entirely. (M/n) was left behind to keep up with them. At one point he thought he’d lost Frisk and ran straight ahead, parkouring over the spike barrier totally ignoring the puzzles only to find Frisk {Ooh, cute ribbon.} at the next room talking to something. Or someone really. 

There floated a ghost. Not only a ghost- but a depressingly pissed off ghost.

It seemed that Frisk and the ghost was in a fight. And it appeared the ghost was ‘losing’.

That wasn't All that disturbing; the only thing worrying (M/n) was that Frisk seemed to be enjoying them self. The toy knife they found earlier flashing menacingly and (M/n) thinks he saw a crimson light reflecting their eyes. 

(M/n) recognized that look. From the customers he dealt with back in the alley, some being public criminals and others even more riskier to deal with because of their history with murder. They had the look (M/n) has whenever he is threatened to pull out his blade. 

(M/n) immediately grabbed Frisk’s arm and pulled him away from the combat zone. Their soul’s red glow diminished immediately and (M/n) received a slight scowl.

“Ow (m/n), what’s the deal?” The kid didn’t have that savage look anymore.

(M/n) sighed in relief. It must have been his delusion. 

He decided to put an end to this pointless fight. After all, Toriel told them to be good- and (M/n) was quite determined to make the lady happy. 

“Frisk, what do you see?”

The child stared at him in confusion.

“You see him, right there. You were just fighting him.”

“You mean Napstablook?”

{That’s it's name?!} 

“Uh, Yeah. Him.”

Napstablook hearing his name ventured a little closer to them in curiosity, but not too close.

(M/n) sighed out loud. 

“Sweetheart, I thought I was the crazy one but you do realize ghosts are incorporeal right? I mean, you can’t really kill something that’s not really there.

“So Nappy over there must have been pretending to be hurt am I right?” (M/n) called out the last part a bit louder so that the ghost thing would be able to hear.

In response, Napstablook blushed. It was kinda cute and all as it tried to explain in a meek voice.

“um- I didn't want to hurt their feelings or anything. J-just pretend I'm dead… oooohhhh……”   
So he disappeared. Never (?) To be seen again. 

(Mn) missed him already.

“See kid? He wasn't so bad now was he?”

Frisk whined. “He was blocking our way and I didn't know what else to do.”

Eh. He didn't have a say there. 

{When is goat lady coming back anyway?}


	4. About to leave Tori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think the chapters are getting shorter and shorter each time (and so is my will to live lol). Please. I'm getting exhausted with finals it's very frustrating. Eh... when am I gonna progress with this story I don't know. Anyway here is chapter 4.

Chapter 4

(M/n) had been waiting for his brother to come home. He even helped baking cinnamon pie for him like a true patriotic sibling, with his mother being a scolding witch like always. But he didn't mind. It was pretty rare for his brother to visit them anyway.

Not since his brother dropped out of university; their father had disowned him ever since. It was the time of the year when no matter how pissed their father was it was a mandatory gathering sponsored by their grandparents. 

“(M\n),get the pie cooled!”

“Alright already mom! Jesus!”

“Do not say the Lord’s name in vain!”

“Yeah, g-mom!”

“(M/n), where in the diddly darn is that TV remote?!”

“ Seriously? You're sitting on it fat ass."

Being a preteen in this family was so damn frustrating- he didn’t even have energy to play soccer or whatever kids his age did outside. Nor does he have any valuable time to masturbate to porn. It was an extremely busy day for (M/n). And any more of his family's shenanigans was so close to making him snap. 

It was just in time for his brother to bust through the doors, kicking it would be more exact- and make an exaggerated posture for everyone to admire his grand entrance. 

“Voila!” 

No one clapped except for (M/n) being the sarcastic douche. 

Without further a-do, his brother marched into the kitchen, greeting their grandma and mother (Who were extremely concerned with the door frame) with a salute and entirely ignoring their father who did the same. 

“Hey buddy, is that pie I smell? You’d better cut me a slice before I cut you.” He whispered with a grin, eyes burning with intent.

(M/n) shivered.

\----------------------------

(M/n) woke up drenched in sweat, eyes stinging close coming to tears. He clenched his eyes shut since his ears buzzed painfully similar to siren. Sitting up- he gripped the sheets with all his might and held in a retch. He heaved heavily for a full two minute, trying to remember how to breath.

When he did, he slowed his breath and cautiously opened his eyes. For a moment he didn’t remember where he was. It wasn’t his trash blown apartment or Wade’s undescribable property either. He was in a single room.

It was the smell of something sugary and buttery which sent him into a confused frenzy. It all smelled too familiar. 

Feeling a tad too irritated (M/N) shoved the blankets to the corner of the bed, creating a lumpy ball of blanket material which in a twisted way reminded him of home.

Feeling he had nothing better to do at this time he decided to look around Tori’s place once more- that's only if he could find the light source of his room, he couldn't see for shit. Stumbling around awkwardly body still half asleep, he walked around the room feeling the walls until he felt his foot meet ceramic, knocking something over he figured it was a plate. 

He grumbled in annoyance.  
“Ugh. I ain't eating whatever that is now.”

When he finally flipped the lamp shade on he found himself in the quiet sepia toned room again. Except the the bed turned into a frightening mess from (m/n) simply existing there for a time. The plate he accidentally kicked was flipped, empty of content. What he did find tossed to the corner of the bookshelves (staining the books ‘accidentally’) was a single large slice of butterscotch cinnamon pie. 

{Ah… so that's it.}

The pie itself seemed rather unharmed. Too clean to be honest however it didn't particularly remind him of anything happy so he simply picked up the slice and threw it in the trash. Wiping his sticky fingers onto his hoodie. He appreciated Torials’ feelings but he felt he'd rather not get too attached to her. Besides, dropped food are filthy.

{We have to leave her soon.}  
‘Yeah I figured. Let's go get Frisk.’


	5. Chapter 5

So... I stopped this work a while back because I realized how immature it was to use schizophrenia in a humorous way. 

So now I thought, " hey, I can totally change it up a bit so that the main character is just a sad, sad person with an unexplainable voice in his head in which he just assumes its because of mental illness."

So I'm just going to update this as a chapter to see how many people would like to see it continued.

Tbh, this was from a year or two ago so my writing style have changed, but I'm sure it won't affect my sense of dark, dank humour.

Sans will be introduced next chapter if I were to continue.

Having said that, good night!


End file.
